Just add ‘Chaos as Boris Johnson announces…’ to the beginning of any headline

An interesting fact about the Queen's speech is that there have been only two points in the history of her majesty's reign where she has missed the re-opening of Parliament - and both times it was due to pregnancy. 

Let’s be clear: the Queen is probably not pregnant, just to nip that vicious rumour in the bud. 

Official reports suggest that it was due to mobility - but the real reason [which probably isn't the real reason at all] is because at this point in her reign, she is about as sick to the back teeth of these Conservatives as many of us are.  

At least, that was the impression I got - though I could be wrong - from watching Prince Charles ooze the script handed to him and then recite it with a dripping condescension matched only by his incredulity sensing that this may, inevitably, be his job soon. 

The look on Charles’ face alone would indicate that not even he was particularly that inspired by the words he was given - and certainly did not believe any of it.