Political Monkey Tennis: Er, there appears to be a consistent pattern forming here of policies ‘destined to fail’

“In an age when all the grand ideas have lost credibility, fear of a phantom enemy is all the politicians have left to maintain their power.”

Adam Curtis: ‘The Power of Nightmares’ (2004)

There’s that immortal scene in the first series of ‘I’m Alan Partridge’ where Alan is pitching ideas to a BBC programme commissioner [played by David Schneider]. Each one is subsequently worse and more desperate than the last until eventually he comes out with the words, “monkey tennis.”

‘Monkey Tennis’ represents the lowest common denominator for any television concept - it’s a result of laziness and apathy; that the person suggesting it has run out of fresh ideas and it’s not even clear if it’s real or possible but they burst out with this ridiculous concept because they have nothing else. 

In the context of the current’s government’s failure to galvanise support at the polls or gain any real political momentum, Rishi Sunak - or the Daily Mail, rather - shouts “yobs!” - “yobs!” is the right-wing media and Rishi Sunak’s “monkey tennis.”

But it’s not just any “yobs!” that the diminutive and unimposing Rishi Sunak is going to be tackling, it’s “hordes” of them, “loitering and littering…in parks” with “hippy crack” [or Nitrous Oxide].